True Story

A friend of mine had a great court experience yesterday. Here is a colloquy between her client and the judge:

Judge: How many children do you have?
My client (Frank): 9
Judge: By how many different women?
Frank: 9. 9 different "associates."
Judge: 9 children by 9 different women.
Frank: No, by 9 different "associates."
Judge: Were they by men?
Frank: No, by 9 different "associates."
Judge: okay, whatever....

Later:
Judge: When did you last work?
Frank: I never did done work. I hustled.
Judge: You hustled?
Frank: Yes
Judge: What did you hustle?
Frank: You know
Judge: No, I don't. Drugs?
Frank: Sometimes, sometimes women, sometimes car parts.
Judge: You hustled drugs, women and car parts
Frank: I HUSTLE drugs, women and car parts.
Judge: You still do this?
Frank: Yes, with my associates.


Later:
Judge: What were you in jail for?
Frank: Possession with intent
Judge: Of what?
Frank: Crack - but it was my associate's.
Judge: The crack was really crack owned my one of your children's mothers or one of the people you hustle with?
Frank: No, by one of my associates.
Judge: But aren't your associates your children's mothers?
Frank: Not in this case.
Judge: But aren't your associates the people you hustle with?
Frank: Not in this case.
Judge: You have used associate a whole lot - for children's mothers, for those you hustle with and those who hold your drugs. Is that what you mean by associate?
Frank: Kind of. Well, like my attorney is my associate.
Judge: No, your attorney is AN associate at a law firm.
Frank: I guess, but she is my associate too. And a GOOOOD one.
Judge: So your attorney is a mother of your children, hustles with you and maybe has been in possession of your drugs?
Frank: Long, Long pause. Ohh, no, she is my friend. Associates are my friends. Don't you know anything?

Today's Song: Over and Over, Nelly