I Need to Learn To Work Flickr
D'yall want anymore Sudance reporting? I mean, I fully understand that my Sundance reporting is less "YOU MUST SEE THIS GRIPPING, GRITTY FILM" or "OMG I made out with Julianne Moore!" but rather more "I did this on Saturday, this on Sunday, isn't that exciting?" It's just that's how I roll, I guess. If you want to see stars, check out WireImage. If you want film reviews, pick up Entertainment Weekly. If you want to see the house I stayed at, well read on.
As is customary for Sundance, Barlow was MVP. (MVP, however, is very, very different than BEST OF FEST. Best of Fest is an award given to the best volunteers - out of like 1400 volunteers, only five Best of Fest awards are given. Remember that whole 2000 Election debacle? Well, trust me when I tell you that the United States Supreme Court is going to have to determine whether Stella or I is more deserving of the Best of Fest honor.**)
Barlow was MVP, because she secured our lodging.* This little cabin:
This little cabin had okay views:
It had a sauna with satellite radio piped in (there were huge arguments over whether the 80's channel or 70's channel was more appropriate. Thankfully, Jedd did not insist on Octane or Left of Center). I'm generally not a fan of saunas, but the satellite radio and easy ski-in/ski-out access made it easy to cool down when it got too hot:
Do you think I was embarrassed when this skiier noticed me attempting a toe-touch in a swim suit on a ski run? N-o-p-e.
When we weren't working on our physical fitness, we were working on our pop culture appreciation. To wit, one morning I woke up, took a look at the home's EXTENSIVE dvd collection, grabbed one, and presented it to Barlow. "Nooooooo. What? Noooooo. Don't put that on." Um, ladies and gentlmen, it was Dallas seasons 1 & 2. Don't you think Barlow was being unreasonable? Well, don't think too hard about that because she converted to Dallasism faster than Katie Holmes to Scientology. She almost missed a shift she was so engrossed. But not as engrossed as me. I found myself laying in bed watching Sue Ellen and wondering if her alleged drinking problem truly required her to be committed to a "sanatorium". As I layed there looking at her and her looking at me, I was taken aback:
As is customary for Sundance, Barlow was MVP. (MVP, however, is very, very different than BEST OF FEST. Best of Fest is an award given to the best volunteers - out of like 1400 volunteers, only five Best of Fest awards are given. Remember that whole 2000 Election debacle? Well, trust me when I tell you that the United States Supreme Court is going to have to determine whether Stella or I is more deserving of the Best of Fest honor.**)
Barlow was MVP, because she secured our lodging.* This little cabin:
This little cabin had okay views:
It had a sauna with satellite radio piped in (there were huge arguments over whether the 80's channel or 70's channel was more appropriate. Thankfully, Jedd did not insist on Octane or Left of Center). I'm generally not a fan of saunas, but the satellite radio and easy ski-in/ski-out access made it easy to cool down when it got too hot:
Do you think I was embarrassed when this skiier noticed me attempting a toe-touch in a swim suit on a ski run? N-o-p-e.
When we weren't working on our physical fitness, we were working on our pop culture appreciation. To wit, one morning I woke up, took a look at the home's EXTENSIVE dvd collection, grabbed one, and presented it to Barlow. "Nooooooo. What? Noooooo. Don't put that on." Um, ladies and gentlmen, it was Dallas seasons 1 & 2. Don't you think Barlow was being unreasonable? Well, don't think too hard about that because she converted to Dallasism faster than Katie Holmes to Scientology. She almost missed a shift she was so engrossed. But not as engrossed as me. I found myself laying in bed watching Sue Ellen and wondering if her alleged drinking problem truly required her to be committed to a "sanatorium". As I layed there looking at her and her looking at me, I was taken aback:
Like lookin' in a mirror. (And believe me or not, that photo was not staged.)
But it wasn't all fun and games. Come on. There was shopping to do:
I really did consider buying that hat. But there were PETA protesters on Main Street and I didn't their grief. I needed a warm hat.
But it wasn't all fun and games. Come on. There was shopping to do:
I really did consider buying that hat. But there were PETA protesters on Main Street and I didn't their grief. I needed a warm hat.
And there was finagling ourselves into exclusive parties. Where this guy was the entertainment:
He looks like a real riot, right? Well, do you remember this?
His alter-ego Kelly.
At this point, I will turn the time over to Barlow and Stella to contribute some stories in the comments section of this over-long, gratuitous post.
*Actually, Barlow was MVP for loads of reasons. Too, too many to enumerate.
**May I present Exhibit A for why Stella will not receive Best of Fest? Our venue hosts nightly "Wine Escapes" sponsored by the likes of PBS and Discovery Channel. The Wine Escapes are catered and complimentary Stella Artois beer and Turning Leaf wines are served. Our venue has a full kitchen where the Stella Artois and Turning Leaf wines are stored in cabinets. The cabinets are labelled with post-it notes. On about her third or fourth day of working, Stella finally noticed the labels on the cabinets. Like really, noticed them. And in all seriousness, she looked at one of the cabinets and said, "Wait, that's my name. Is this where I am supposed to put my stuff?" Like an elementary school cubby!
Reason why she may actually have a leg up on me in the Best of Fest race, she seriously rolled the mats and rugs way, way tighter than I did. And, well, she made it a priority to always "look fresh for Jon Hendry." (And Stella I intentionally spelled his name wrong in case he ever Google's his own name.) But her actual ace in the hole, is my actually "working of the panel." Working the panel requires the volunteer to stand in a large room, with a microphone, and when a panel audience member raises their hand to ask a question, the volunteer has to run over to the audience member and stick the microphone in their face. I work the panel by standing in an entirely different room, watching the panel on a flat screen tv, and wander back in occasionally to see if anyone really wants to ask a question.
(This panel was about film criticism with critics from Entertainment Weekly, SL Trib, and a couple film bloggers. They didn't have a moderator so they just sat up there and talked, and talked, and talked. Finally, they realized they needed to take questions, and I assure you I was back in there working that audience like OPRAH!)
He looks like a real riot, right? Well, do you remember this?
His alter-ego Kelly.
At this point, I will turn the time over to Barlow and Stella to contribute some stories in the comments section of this over-long, gratuitous post.
*Actually, Barlow was MVP for loads of reasons. Too, too many to enumerate.
**May I present Exhibit A for why Stella will not receive Best of Fest? Our venue hosts nightly "Wine Escapes" sponsored by the likes of PBS and Discovery Channel. The Wine Escapes are catered and complimentary Stella Artois beer and Turning Leaf wines are served. Our venue has a full kitchen where the Stella Artois and Turning Leaf wines are stored in cabinets. The cabinets are labelled with post-it notes. On about her third or fourth day of working, Stella finally noticed the labels on the cabinets. Like really, noticed them. And in all seriousness, she looked at one of the cabinets and said, "Wait, that's my name. Is this where I am supposed to put my stuff?" Like an elementary school cubby!
Reason why she may actually have a leg up on me in the Best of Fest race, she seriously rolled the mats and rugs way, way tighter than I did. And, well, she made it a priority to always "look fresh for Jon Hendry." (And Stella I intentionally spelled his name wrong in case he ever Google's his own name.) But her actual ace in the hole, is my actually "working of the panel." Working the panel requires the volunteer to stand in a large room, with a microphone, and when a panel audience member raises their hand to ask a question, the volunteer has to run over to the audience member and stick the microphone in their face. I work the panel by standing in an entirely different room, watching the panel on a flat screen tv, and wander back in occasionally to see if anyone really wants to ask a question.
(This panel was about film criticism with critics from Entertainment Weekly, SL Trib, and a couple film bloggers. They didn't have a moderator so they just sat up there and talked, and talked, and talked. Finally, they realized they needed to take questions, and I assure you I was back in there working that audience like OPRAH!)
Today's Song: Iris, GooGoo Dolls
posted by h.justin @ 9:45 AM
3 Objection(s)!
3 Comments:
You lead a charmed life, my friend.
The truth is, when you see the people who actually win the "Best of Fest" honor, you realize it's maybe not such an honor. That said, I think we should pass out some kind of "Vote 4 Me" buttons for next year. Rock the vote and all.
Thanks for the MVP award. And if you were wondering what to get me as a prize, I would like to find out who actually did shoot J.R.
I used to "work the panel" almost every Fast Sunday from age 14 to 16. I would've been pro at that...
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