Monday, May 08, 2006

Special Guest Star

Today's blog entry brought to you courtesy of Susie (aka Aunt S).

SUMMER PLEDGE:


The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules

when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit.

My toes will not hang overand touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs.

And the sidesa nd tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back intoplace hoping it will stay put.

I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone downwith me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swelland begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $20 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other sisters.

3 Comments:

At 08 May, 2006 13:18, Blogger Unknown said...

Thank you! Every woman I know needs to read this. And I am the mean (or good) friend that says their feet aren't cute enough for sandals. The picture? Disgusting.

 
At 08 May, 2006 14:46, Blogger Sara Z. said...

So SLCUP had the proper advice that time I called her from Nordstrom asking about hose and open-toed shoes. I'm not a bit surprised.

 
At 08 May, 2006 15:07, Blogger Unknown said...

Yup. Did you really doubt me, Sara?

 

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