The Cheatin' Hearts
I'm sure there are many well researched sociological, psychological, anthropological, etc. articles in high brow journals that have dissected this subject ad nauseum, but I don't read those. I read more mainstream fare. And I don't even read that very often. But I do watch a few television shows pretty regularly. Shows like Greys Anatomy, The Office, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Arrested Development, and BBC America.
So my question is: why is "cheating" a recurring motif in those shows? Well, mainly The Office and GA right now. And why are millions and millions of viewers rooting for cheaters? Why are the shows writers so obsessed with cheating?
My understanding is that American society values the institution of marriage. Indeed, the institution is valued so highly that it must be protected at all costs from any encroachments on its sacredness. Well, I'm not all that interested in marriage.
I'm more interested in why cheating is so glamourized on television - prime time television's comedies and dramas (it's not just for daytime dramas anymore). Why are George W.'s supporters lapping it up and rooting for cheating characters? Do married people want to cheat? Do they fantasize about it and get to live their fantasies out via these characters? Help me understand. I'm not judging: I'm really, really curious.
Why are plotlines with cheaters so successful?
posted by h.justin @ 8:52 AM
8 Objection(s)!
8 Comments:
I think plotlines that rely revolve around cheating are exciting to the viewer, almost voyeuristic. People get to watch characters do things they may wish they could do or would never think about doing. It's dangerous and dangerous is exciting. I hate that GA makes me root for a cheater. I hate that. I hate that the writers make McDreamy out to be a hero of sorts. He's no hero - he cheated on his wife and broke two women's hearts.
Cheating destroys people. The wounds created by cheating are deep and take a long time to heal. And that's my cheating soapbox. The end.
People are very conflicted about marriage/committed couplehood. Many like the idea of it, and hold it up as the ideal way of being and the answer to all their problems, and then when it is disappointing they think maybe they got the wrong person, maybe this person over here will solve the problem.
If people had a realistic view of marriage to begin with, there might not be as much cheating and divorce. The truth about marriage is that while it solves some problems, it creates others; that you WILL, at some point, be bored/disappointed/angry with/disgusted at your spouse. Other people can begin to look verrrry interesting.
American society thinks they value the INSTITUTION of marriage, but most of them/us don't really know what it is. It's not romance, it's not day after day of guilt-free sex, it's not a god. It's two people, in theory, who join together to become one person and live the rest of their lives saying, "I'm always going to consider this person's needs above/along with my own." It's a lifetime of joint decisions, sharing of self and space. Not for everyone.
The thing is that in most cases no one tells people this stuff. You go into it blinded by emotion and hope you have the maturity to figure it out when the initial rush wears off. Cheating, or thinking about cheating, is a way to get the rush you first had with your spouse. And since we're surrounded by culture (especially in Utah!) that worships romance and couplehood above all else, it can be easy to idealize that to the point that if it doesn't always FEEL great with your first choice, perhaps you should look elsewhere.
The religious right likes to say that marriage is sacred and get all in a twist over gay marriage, but then turn a blind eye to the divorce rate in the church (which is the same as in secular society) or the numerous acts of adultery among their own kind.
So to answer your question - I don't think it's the cheating itself that's glamorized on these shows, or the cheating itself that makes the plotlines popular. It's the idealized romance, thrill of the chase, promise of great sex, and crackling emotional connection that people want to see and feel ENTITLED to having, because culture tells us it's THE most important thing...next to money. You just don't tend to see that in portrayals of marriage...rightfully so, in my opinion, because that's not what marriage is about.
Also - if TV writers want to reflect real life, they do a good job with the cheating storylines, because virtually every married person has been tempted for the reasons above. So we relate to characters who are tempted, and there's some relief to seeing them give in, but there is also disappointment because, just like in real life, the chase and the flirting and the tension is always better than consumation.
omg, that was a really long comment. sorry.
Damn, Sara.
Well stated Sara Z. Your long comments are always welcome here.
I thought Kirsten and Sandy on The OC had the idealized romance, crackling emotional connection, etc. - but that was just a temporary lofty perch from which the lazy writers could quickly take them down. Too bad because i was much more engaged with them as a couple than McSquinty, I mean Meredith, and McDreamy.
And on that note, I'm so happy to be graduating from The OC this Thursday. And I'm pleased to report that I won't be going on to college with them.
I was never able to get in the OC, Mischa Barton makes me twitchy.
Really? Mischa turns you on? I like Rachel/Summer and Kelly/Kirsten. I like both the actresses and their characters.
Ew, no. Twitchy in a bad way, a nervous tick way. She bugs the bejeezus out of me.
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