Dear Internet

we are about to take our relationship to the next level. I'm going to get a little more friendly, a little more personal.

I have an appointment with a podiatrist this afternoon. My foot still hurts. Generally, when I have an ache or pain, I just wait for it to go away and forego medical attention. But I use my feet alot. I like to run, I like to walk really fast, I like to jump, I like to bike, I like to kick. Which may well be the reason my foot hurts in the first place. So this morning as I was getting ready for work, I went to town on my feet. I gave them a SuperDeluxe wash, I scraped them, sanded them, buffed them. I made sure my toenails were perfectly shaped. I put foot lotion on them. Why? Because I want to impress this podiatrist with how well I care for my feet. So that he will reward me with medication for my pain.

As I worked on my feet - with the intention of impressing a podiatrist, I remembered a not too long ago visit with a new general care physician. A woman. I hadn't been to her before, but several of my friends had. My first appointment with her was on a Monday morning. First thing Monday morning. I didn't know what to expect. Before she began her examination, she asked me when I'd had my last physical. I told her I couldn't remember (which was basically a lie because I had never before had a proper physical). She said, "well you're having one now." I then had to drop my pants, turn my head, and cough. Ladies, I know in the scheme of things that is nothing compared to your doctor visits, but it was a pretty big deal for me. But not as big of a deal as the next step in the process. She asked me for a urine sample. I was wholly - WHOLLY - unprepared for that. She gave me a cup and sent me into the restroom. (I can't believe I'm telling this story.) Inside the restroom, I put the sample in the cup as required - but I did not like what I saw. Let's just say a first thing in the morning sample is a lot darker than a later in the day after I've had my many glasses of water sample. There was no way I was turning that in. Thinking quickly, I dumped out half the sample and filled the cup with tap water. I found that to be much more presentable. And I turned that in. Imagine my shock, then, when a week later I was asked to come back in to be tested for lead poisoning. I kid, I kid. The results were fine. So feel free to use that trick when you feel it necessary.

I suppose I just really like to make a good impression on doctors.

And one more thing, I'm going by "Chuh-Chin" now. Beck stopped calling me "dad," took a stab at my name, and ran with it. Milestone.

Today's Song: Cry Love, John Hiatt