So I'm An Overweight Woman with Flat Feet

that favors high heels? Is that it? Is that why this is the problem with my foot? I'm sticking with the stress fracture theory.

Reason for 32 year old men not to buy shorts from abercrombie: shallow pockets. Evidently, little boys do not need the big pockets that shorts from Abercrombie & Fitch feature. And it turns out the thirty to forty dollars you save by buying the boy shorts as opposed to the man shorts does not make up for the shallow pockets. Because your wallet will fall out of the boy shorts.

Lesson learned the hard way: On Monday night I saw a double feature at the Megaplex at Gateway. Bourne Ulitmatum (loved it) and The Simpsons Movie (I slept). At the cartoon film, I sat on the front row and rested my overweight lady leg on a railing to ease the pain to my heel caused by my excessive weight (possibly due to pregnancy) and too much wearing of high heels (primarily Laboutin, of course). You see the problem here? Leg lifted, shallow pockets (I keep my wallet in my front pocket - potential muggers and pickpockets, please disregard that bit of personal information), awkward movie seat, and sleeping.

Yesterday, whilst getting ready to leave for work I couldn't find my wallet anywhere. I searched anything and everything. Nowhere to be found.

I called the movie theater first thing in the morning: no wallet turned in. I raced to the theater at 10:30am - well before the first shows of the day - and searched the areas where I sat. No wallet.

The helpful employees then had me fill out a little white card with my name, number, description of lost item, and told me they would call me if and when my wallet turned up. When I hadn't heard from them by 8pm last night, I went back to the theater no wallet.

I was upset and bothered that the wallet just disappeared, but hopeful it would turn up. I checked my AmEx activity on line and there were no unusual charges. So I decided to wait a day or two to cancel cards and seek replacements. No cash in the wallet. A J.Crew gift card is about the only thing of actual retail cash value. A Visa and an AmEx. Costco card. Bar card. Stella beer opener (the brand, not my friend), and gym membership. And most importantly, a card for a complimentary shoe shine at the downtown Nordstrom - I am holding on to that until mid-2011 when it will again be of value. (See would be muggers and pickpocketers - you don't want to waste your time with me.)

Reason to see movies at the Megaplex theater: They just called to tell me that my wallet was located and in their vault and I can come and pick it up at my convenience. And they were really super nice. Look, I love the Broadway. In fact, I probably see 90% of my movies there. But for the next little while, it's all Megaplex all the time. And I am going to pay for all the movies I see there. No more of this see one and then duck into another for free after. At least for a little while. I learned my karmic lesson - for now.

Today's Song: Gloria, Laura Branigan (". . . if everybody wants you, why isn't anybody calling . . .")