A Bad Thing Happened.
yesterday. But the "bad thing" requires some background.
On June 3 of this year, I went to the Primary Children's Telethon. To attend, I had to dress up a bit: slacks, blazer, you know the drill. Afterward, I went to The Tavernacle to meet up with one of b-lo's coworkers. Tavernacle was the usual bawdy crowd, off-color songs, and grape popsicle drinks. I left at closing. As I walked out, I helped myself to some of the complimentary party favors on offer in a basket by the exit door.
Earlier this week, I took my Tavernacle slacks to the drycleaners. And yesterday, I picked them up. When I walked into the cleaners, I was talking on my mobile to my friend SJ. Without disengaging from my phone conversation, I told the cleaners' attendant my name and she went to collect my clothes. First, she brought up my slacks and hung them on a rack right in front of me. Then she went to retrieve my shirts. I looked at the receipt attached the drycleaning plastic covering my slacks. A small square packet was taped thereto. Without examining too closely, I thought they had provided a sample stain remover or similar as a complimentary gift. But then I looked a little closer, and realized that they had attached a prophylactic to my cleaning order! A "Pleasure Plus" prophylactic. "WTF," I thought, but then quickly remembered my visit to the Tavernacle in those slacks. I must have acquired a condom from the complimentary basket that night. Well done.
I was mortified, but I didn't let it show. I completed my transaction and got the hell out of there.
The cleaners returned the prophylactic they found in my pants. As though I need that back. As though if they hadn't, I would file a complaint. "I need to speak to the manager! Your cleaners stole my CONDOM!" No, I wouldn't do that. Perhaps they were just displaying their honesty? Right, like they would tape to my receipt a twenty I left in my pants. More likely, they had a good laugh at my expense and laughed back at me.
The horror.
Here is a picture of the horror:
The upside to all this is two businesses in SLC definitely support safe sex: Tavernacle and Red Hanger.
posted by h.justin @ 7:42 AM
9 Objection(s)!
9 Comments:
That's not a bad thing, that's a damn funny thing!
OMG, Justin! I'm so glad you were on the phone, so that you could pretend to be distracted. Did you notice if the cashier gave you any sneaky looks?
Bag is still covering the pants, G - but it's yours for the taking.
Stella, the cashier didn't act as if anything was out of the ordinary. And I was very glad to be on the phone for the ordeal.
I ALWAYS ALWAYS check my pockets before pants go to the cleaners. And the one time I don't . . .
You know how people say, "Well, it could be worse." I don't think it could be worse in this situation. Well, maybe if it was MY pants that it fell out of.
I suppose a used condom taped to the receipt would have been worse. Much, much worse.
You are absolutley right. That would have been much, much worse. What kind of person would have a used condom in his pocket but also bothers to dry clean his slacks? Quite the paradox.
Georgeory, you are going to be banned for questionable content!
You don't use the bag w/ a couch...you use matresses. duh.
this story is the highlight of my day, mainly because it didn't happen to me!!
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