Cute Overload

That's me working on my laptop when I was about 17 months. I've been using the internet for going on 31 years now. As you can imagine, I'm quite good.

Today's Song: Cream, Prince (For Ava)

Burning Man

Have you heard of Burning Man?

I have. And I know b-lo has. A couple years ago we met a group of people that had recently returned from the Burning Man festival. They were an unusual lot. Free spirit, hippie-types. So it wasn't surprising that we met them in the glamourous resort town of Lava Hot Springs. They told us tales of their time at Black Rock City, and then performed some Live Art for us. I won't get into specific details about the art demonstration, but I will say it involved a woman, a man, and a role reversal. The most shocking thing about the whole thing was how unimpressed b-lo and I were. I found their pictures from Burning Man more interesting. And when I tired of those, I had to berate their dj, "Jesus", for not playing music with words on their extremely tricked out sound system. Anyway, I highly recommend - for those not easily offended - searching out people's pictures from Burning Man posted on the world wide web. The "festival" really is something else.

Today's Song: L.A. Law Theme, Mike Post

All We Need Is Just A Little Patience

EDIT:

I jumped the gun! It appears the Jamie and Patience show will not be immediately cancelled.



____________________________

I am not happy about this news. Not happy at all. I am in love with Karr's defense attorneys! Jamie Harmon and Patience Van Zandt. See them here. Seriously, I'm certain that if you saw their news conference following their retention by Karr, you are just as in love with them as I am. If Karr, isn't charged that means Jamie and Patience will not be on my telly anymore. Just when I found them, I lost them.

Today's Song: Photograph, Def Leppard (Dedicated by Carlos to Vanessa)

Summer Songs 1990-1999

This morning I sat and thought of each summer of the 90's. And then I tried to think of a definitive song from each summer, these came to mind first:

1990: Escapade, Janet Jackson
1991: The Promise of a New Day, Paula Abdul
1992: All I Want, Toad the Wet Sprocket
1993: Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms
1994: Gimme Dat Nut, Eazy E
1995: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (a very bizarre summer)
1996: Sentimental Fool, Lloyd Cole
1997: Allentown, Billy Joel
1998: Tubthumping, Chumbawumba (1998 was an off year, I went blank here)
1999: When the Day is Done, The Samples

Each song represents a blog topic in and of itself. Will save those for the cold and blustery winte because winters somehow do not have signature songs for me.

I invite you to share your own summer songs.

Today's Song: Summertime, The Sundays

I Need A New Camera Phone

because my current one is not getting the job done.

To wit, this picture:

I snapped it this morning on my way to work. The car pictured is a Dodge Neon. The bumper sticker at the right side of the car's back bumper reads: RUaMO2? I suspect the sticker is an abbreviation for "Are you a mormon too?" I suppose it could also be taken to be an abbreviation for "Are you a Missourian too?" But the latter doesn't seem as plausible. 2QT2B4Gotten, I say.

Today's Song: Regret, New Order

Justin Stands Up for Britney

Thanks to my five (soon to be six) year old friend, Ava, I've recently revisited Britney Spears catalog of hits.

Review with me:

(You Drive Me) Crazy: Classic video. I believe Brit's video costume is even on display at Hard Rock Hotel in LV. Everyone walks by it and wonders, "Can I fit in that?" Well, even Britney wonders that these days, but that's not the point. The song is catchy, timeless, and brings back memories of Drive Me Crazy with Melissa Joan Hart, Vince - er, I mean Adrien Grenier, and the prom scene filmed at the Utah State Capitol building. Drenched in neon. Too hot.

I'm A Slave For You: I question the merits of the song, however she certainly worked it well. Didn't she perform this with a HUGE snake while wearing a nude body suit at the VMA's circa 2000. That's another classic moment in recent pop culture, and she looked hot. Also, when I was in Aruba in 2003, this song was playing at a bar, and an African American woman from Arkansas, there with her girlfriends (Stella getting her groove back, maybe) was singing along. One of the girlfriends got seriously angry with the singing woman. Because she felt the song inappropriate.

Stronger: Come on. Agree with me. She nails it here. This song is an ANTHEM! It works at the gym, it works at the clubs, it works at work. And it certainly worked for me when I went back to London in 2001 after living there in 2000. I went back STRONGER than YESTERDAY and it was nothing but my way. Well done. But not her best song. I'm saving that for last.

Lucky: I can't tell you how many girls/women I know that feel this is their life's theme (one - SJ). I bet Britney feels alot like the girl named Lucky these days. However, Britney seems to have given up on the time for make-up and worrying about the perfect smile. But again, not the point of this post. The song is a little too slow for me, but in my opinion if it can win over SJ - an incredibly discerning critic of all things artistic - the song is meritorious. (Side note: SJ saw the Haylie Duff movie Material Girls over the weekend and she does not recommend it.)

My Only Wish: I love this one. It is her contribution to the Christmas song catalogue. I love it because I'm pretty sure she recorded it when she was dating Justin Timberlake and when she pleadingly sings for Santa to bring her baby to her for Christmas, I picture Santa stealing Justin from Cameron and delivering him to the Federline household and chaos ensuing. No really though, I like pop Christmas and this one fits the bill. Happy Christmas Britney.

Boys: Hate it. She can't win them all.

Oops I Did It Again: This song is her legacy. I'm convinced. How do I know this? Because I remember singing it with four year old kids in 2000, and I sang it with a five year old in 2006. And they sang it to me FIRST. It wasn't me grabbing them and saying, "listen to this magic! I think you will really, really enjoy this." Instead, the reverse occurred. And I fully expect that I will be singing it in another two years with my cousin Ella, and a couple years after that with her baby sister. Now, my only criticism about the song is the Titanic-themed spoken word part because it really dates the song, but actually I work the guy's part pretty well: "well, baby I went back down and got it for you." I love it when she gives us a male verse. Top drawer song. But again, not her best in my opinion.

Born to Make You Happy: How do I love this song? Let me count the ways. I'm sure I first heard it when I lived in London, but my most poignant memory of the song is it playing at beach side bars in Mykonos, Greece. The song isn't too fast, and it isn't too slow. It doesn't have hard beats, and her voice isn't all technotronic. It's just a really nice song about a lovely girl named Britney wanting to do everything she can for me, the boy she loves, because that is what she was born to do. This I submit, is her best work.

And for some reason, that duet she did with Madonna is not coming to mind - not even a snippet of a lyric - something about "the music" I guess, oh, her against the music maybe; anyway, no strong memory of it equals not a big hit.

So let's stop judging Britney for K-Fed, and Manny, and pregnancy, chewing gum, bare feet, and Matt Lauer. Janet Jackson got her body back and Britney will too. She's not Carnie for god's sake. Let's let Britney's music speak for itself. And let's usher in a time of healing.

Today's Song: Lucky, Britney Spears (for Ava - download here)

The Days are Numbered

Yesterday, I went to Lagoon A Beach. I have to fit in as many visits between now and Labor Day as possible because when winter comes, I'll need many beach memories to keep me warm.

I had an interesting, albeit uninitiated by me, conversation with a young female lifeguard yesterday:

As I sat eating my Subway sandwich on a chaise lounge near Mooch's Mainstream (aka the "Lazy River" or "Endless River"), she was walking back and forth along the river's edge, guarding it.

LG: Subway is expensive here!

Me: Yes, it is.

LG: Did you see the woman that broke her neck?

Me: No.

LG: Yeah, she was coming down Outrigger, and broke her neck.

Me: That's terrible.

LG: Yeah, it happened just a few minutes ago. She was really, really big - it took about 10 lifeguards to get her on the backboard and get her down.

Me: I don't like the sound of that.

LG: Yeah, it's sad, but kind of exciting for us. We get so BORED! It's nice to see some action. Sometimes I'll just sit here and hope someone starts to drown so I can jump in the water.

Me: Really.

LG: Yes, but it's the end of summer and we're only open a few more days. School starts on Wednesday so the pool will be closed starting then except for weekends.

Me: That's too bad.

LG: I'm done with school so I'm excited not to be going back. Oh! Did you just see that someone broke their leg, or maybe just their foot. Over there on those slides.

Me: What the hell is going on?

LG: There is a Mexican over there just drinking beer. I keep telling him, "you can't drink that here" but he keeps drinking. I guess he doesn't understand me.

Me: You might say, "Quiero una cerveza, por favor?"

LG: What?

Me: Nevermind, he's probably out.

At this point, for the first time in my life, I understood the Carl's Junior advertising campaign of "Don't bother me, I'm eating."

(And for the record, b-lo was there for this too, and participated in the converstation, but I took editorial license and made it a dialogue for my own ease.)

Today's Song: Smoke From A Distant Fire, Sanford & Townsend

FW:

Two Things I Learned Yesterday:

1. Hope Woodside really is the hottest/coolest news anchor in Utah. (And I have met nearly all of them.)

2. "If you run like food, you will be food."

Today's Song: At The Zoo, Simon & Garfunkel

Things I Learned at the Journey/Def Leppard Concert

at USANA Amphitheater (from observation), in no particular order:

1. Journey without Steve Perry is essentially just a cover band.

2. Apparently, you can smoke marijuana freely in the men's restroom.

3. Apparently, it is acceptable for men to wear eyeliner to classic rock concerts.

4. Likewise, it is acceptable for men to spend more time styling their hair for a classic rock concert than their female counterparts.

5. Ladies need not bother to remove their own panties to throw at the band because the merchandise booths sell panties for $20.

6. Do not throw out old concert t-shirts - you will need them.

7. It is perfectly acceptable to have your mom drop you off at a classic rock concert. In a mini-van. With your wife. And you are 42.

8. It takes approximately the same amount of time to drive from downtown SLC to USANA on concert night as it would to drive to Las Vegas.

9. 24 ounce cans of beer that cost $1.49 at convenience stores cost $7.50 at USANA.

10. 10 year-olds know all the words to "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Pour Some Sugar On Me." So do 75 year-old men.

11. It is best not to give your friend a lesson in Tawny Kitaen style dancing because it is quite possible that people that work in your building will see you and come over to chat. And then request that you repeat the lesson.

12. The ATM line is to be avoided at all costs.

13. Grown, tough-uy men tear up to "Faithfully."

14. An amazing number of people pack in sleeping bags. And then leave them.

15. The 70's are out, and the 80's are in.

Today's Song: The Adventure, Angels and Airwaves

Awesome Concert Wednesday

What a lucky boy: I've got tickets to two concerts tonight. What an unlucky boy: I want to go to both, but have to pick one. The concerts: Phil Vassar in Sandy and Journey/Def Leppard at USANA. The choice really isn't that hard, I know, but it seems a shame to pit such phenomenal acts against one another. I'm going to go with the double header rock act in West Valley versus the country crooner in Sandy. I'm sure y'all would do the same. Man, I wish Steve Perry was still lead singer for Journey. Actually, who am I kidding, I wish it were 1988 and I was going to this concert. Can you imagine the glory that it would be?

So this means I have TWO tickets to Phil Vassar available to caller number 7. Lines are open, and good luck.

Today's Song(s): Just Ask the Lonely, Journey; Hysteria, Def Leppard; and Carlene, Phil Vassar.

On a completely unrelated note, are you familiar with Hips Don't Lie?

Welcome to The Library

I got to work early this morning for a judicial conference call, and while waiting for said call to begin, I checked the usual blogs including Sara Z.'s. I read with interest her response to being "tagged" about books, and then saw that she in turn had tagged me. (I've never been tagged before - at least in the blogosphere anyway). Here goes:

1. One book that changed your life: The Bluebook, A Uniform System of Citation. It changed the way I write - and cite. I also think of Ayn Rand's Fountainhead quite often in a "how would Howard Roark handle this" kind of way.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Recapitulation, Wallace Stegner. I read it when I was 19 and the writing was so beautiful that I got a highlighter out and marked sentences. Highlighting fiction was something new to me.

3. One book you would want on a desert island: The Boy Scout Handbook. Seriously.

4. One book that made you laugh: Super Fudge, Judy Blume. Actually, all of the Judy Blume books.

5. One book that made you cry: There must be loads, but for the life of me, I cannot think of one right now.

6. One book I wish had been written: An unauthorized biography of any one of my grandparents or great-grandparents.

7. One book you wish had never been written: Each and every book Ann Coulter ever derived a profit from.

8. One book you are currently reading: Peyton Place, Grace Metalious. And I'm not technically reading it - I downloaded it from iTunes onto my iPod and I listen to it when I run, walk to work, drive, etc. I only buy unabridged audiobooks and this is a long one.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: The Alchemist, Paul Coehlo.

10. Tag five people: vt, b-lo, georgeory, sister, and aunt's bff. And really, anyone else that would like to demonstrate their literacy.

EDIT: I FORGOT THE CLEVEREST PERSON I KNOW, STELLA! I think I was subconciously afraid she would show us all up.

When I was a kid,

I wanted to be left-handed. I was jealous that left-handed kids got special scissors. When I grew up, I was glad to be right-handed if only because left-handed golfers look funny.

The lefties have good company.

Today's Song: Be Near Me, ABC (I am on hold for a conference call with a judge, and this is the "music on hold," seriously. I'm back in fifth-grade - and wishing I were left-handed.)

Weekend Photo Essay

With the big Outdoor Retailer Convention going on, I hung out downton on Friday. Specifically, b-lo, Johnny, and I went to the Panache wine bar. Panache has an awesome patio that sits above Main Street. It actually has a pretty big city feel to it.

This picture prompted me to seriously consider piercing my ear and icing it up.

After Panache, we went to a club called "The Hotel." This is what the bartenders there wear:

Today I need to research whether cloves really do burn a hole in your throat. I suspect that is urban legend.

Saturday, after I stooped to playing in a fountain at Lagoon:

I went to a party at sister Jeni's and Tom's. They are perfect hosts and I got to hang out with Mugsy and Murphy.

So a big thanks to them.

Sunday I picked up a hat that I will wear for years to come. Seriously, it's hot. See for yourself:



(I actually got it from b-lo's dad, so thanks Charles.)

Today's Song: John Deere Green, Joe Diffie (Lyrics here.)

Mission Accomplished.

Yes, I met David Beckham. See above. Thanks again to b-lo for making it happen. Incidentally, it takes alot of, I don't know, chutzpah(?) to post a picture of oneself with David Beckham on the world wide web. But I am willing to do it for my few loyal readers.

All of the Real Madrid players were at the Governors Mansion. They were all in the exact same suit and tie.

Today's Song: Inner Smile, Texas (From Bend It Like Beckham soundtrack)

* * * A PLEA FOR HELP * * *

David Beckham is currently in SLC. To play with Real SLC. That's great and all, but what I NEED TO KNOW is: where is his wife? Is she here too? I need to see her in person. Right. Now.

Everyone - let's pool our collective resources and see if paparazzi picks place her anywhere other than the capital of world culture, Salt Lake City.

Or, erm, perhaps, a certain someone - cough cough Kelly cough cough - has some Rice Eccles connections and could get me into a reception of sorts up there. I know there is one. Please.

_________________________

UPDATE!

_________________________


Apparently, I am not alone. The Salt Lake Tribune has a "Posh Watch." I am impressed. But disappointed because apparently, she won't be here. Something about Robert Cavalli's Yacht. Slut's too hot for this town apparently. She's worried just the smell of mormon cooking will cause her to gain weight. And now I sound like DListed.

__________________________

UPDATE 2!
__________________________

I secured an invitation to the reception at the Governors Mansion for the Real Madrid with David Beckham. Will report back on that on Friday.

[Thanks B-Lo]

80's Music Trivia

Name the song title and artist:

1. "Never thought it would be so rough, and I wondered if I had enough to keep from breaking down, no mercy in this town."

2. "And I want you to be my acrobat, and I want you to be my lover, oh oh oh, who would treat you cruel . . ."

3. "Midnight, and I'm a waitin' on the 12:05 hopin it will take me just a little farther down the line. Moonlight, you're just a heartache in disguise . . ."

4. "I guess I shoulda known by the way you parked your sideways that it wouldn't last, you're the kind of person, believes in making out once, love 'em and leave 'em fast."

5. "Well this girl has been on my mind, all the time . . . now she don't even know my name, but I think she loves me just the same . . ."

6. "Sometimes you're better off dead, there's a gun in your hand and it's pointing at your head, you think you're mad too unstable, kicking in chairs and knocking down tables . . ."

7. "I think it's cause I'm clumsy, I try not to talk too loud, maybe it's because I'm crazy, I try not to act too proud . . ."

8. "She's so very nice, you should break the ice, let her know that she's on your mind, what you trying to hide, when you know inside she's the best thing you'll ever find . . ."

9. "Here we stand, worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two; sleepless nights, losing ground I'm reaching for you, you, you . . ."

10. "When you called me up this morning, told me about the new love you'd found, I said 'I'm happy for you, I'm really happy for you." Found someone else, I guess I won't be comin' round, I guess it's over baby, it's really over baby."

AND THE SPECIAL BONUS ROUND - FOR EXPERTS ONLY (Aunt, Aunt's BFF, VT and SJ):

"Fat man sittin' on a little stool takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you, hands me the ticket smiles and whispers 'good luck' . . ."

That's 11 songs for TODAY.

Good Morning, Angels.

Last night, after the gym, I was exhausted. I settled in to see what was on telly (that's for you Kelly). In flipping through the Comcast "OnDemand" section, I came across the entire first season of Charlie's Angels. Although I never formally settled on a favourite, I always suspected I would marry Kelly Garrett. But then sometimes Chris Monroe would steal my attention. Other times, Sabrina Duncan. Most often though, it was Kelly. And today, at 50 plus years old, I think Jaclyn Smith is the best looking. I digress. Jill Monroe, aka Farrah Fawcett, never quite caught my fancy like the others. Maybe because she was only on one season and had fewer episodes. Last night though I really understood why she was the breakout star on that show. She was hot, charismatic, funny, and great smile. However, she obviously has not held up as well as Jaclyn, so in the end I was right to pick Kelly Garrett as my future wife. (I suspect Ryan O'Neal is at fault for ruining fair Farrah. Lee Majors too.)

The funny thing is - I swear that because I watched old tv shows last night, my dreams involved my friends from when I was 8 years old. That's whack.

I realize that swimming pools have to close around Labor Day due to the fact that the seasonal workers, i.e. teenagers, have to go back to school. I think we need to figure out some sort of solution to that problem. Let the kids go back to school, but make the mom's work the pool. I hate looking at my calendar and seeing that there are really only three or four more weekends of traditional summer. I can already hear those sleigh bells ringin and ring ting tingaling too . . . Santa Claus is comin' to town.

Has everyone read Peyton Place? I downloaded the audio book from iTunes in April, and am just now getting into it. I don't know what took me so long: it's awesomely trashy.

Today's song: Wrapped in My Memory, Shawn Smith (it plays in the credits of Sopranos episode Long Term Parking, aka the episode where Adrianna gets whacked).

A Novel Approach to On Line Dating.

Meet Brian. I'd like to a see a girl's profile that is this forthcoming. [Thanks HC]


Today's Song: At The Still Point, Jonatha Brooke.

It Works For Men Now Too.

The color purple that is. A few months ago, I posted Jenny Joseph's "I Shall Wear Purple". Well, I can report that men have taken heed and are following that philosophy as well.

Evidence: this guy.

If you were at the Gallivan Twilight Concert last night - you saw him. I know because there is no way you could have missed him. He danced for three hours straight. From one end of the stage to the other. With pretty girls and not so pretty ladies. And he moved! He channeled everyone from M.C. Hammer and Usher to Fred Astaire and Gene Kelley. He was out of sight and I could not take my eyes off him. Primarily because on more than one occasion he danced so close to me I thought he was going to step on me.

Perhaps you need a new pen? If so, Stella recommends this site. (NSFW - I learned the hard way).

There were two U.S. presidential assasinations in the 18th Century. The first, obviously, was Abraham Lincoln. The second was not Chester Arthur, but rather James Garfield. I should have known that President Garfield was assasinated because I did my third grade presidential report on him. I chose him because I believed him to be the namesake of my favourite cartoon character of the time. Not surprisingly, I found President Garfield less entertaining than a certain lasagna loving cat. More assasination trivia here. [For b-lo]

Today's Song: Let's Go, The Cars

I Hate It When . . .

You know the people you see everyday in your office building, or gym, or similar, but you don't talk to or acknowledge. You know they work in your office building, and they know you work in theirs, but nothing is ever said between you? No hello's, or head nods or anything - because, well, why would you? BUT THEN, you see them somewhere unexpected and all of a sudden you or they say "hello" in say a Target in Ogden? And from then on when you see them in the usual place, you now have to acknowledge them all because you ran into them at a Target in Ogden. Yes, I hate that.

Keith didn't just get kicked off the show because of pattern books. There was more. But don't make a big deal about the "integrity of the show and competition" Mr. Tim Gunn because we all know that the producers have considerable say on the decision as to "who will stay, and who must leave." And that decision is based on which contestants will attract viewers and/or create buzz.

I recommend both Scoop and An Inconvenient Truth.

Today's Song: Method of Modern Love, Hall and Oates

Come A Little Closer

On my way to work today, I realized that I forgot to brush my teeth before I left the house. I don't think I've ever done that before. I was tempted to just go back home and call it a day, but remembered that I keep a toothbrush and paste at work. So problem solved. But I'm not expecting BIG THINGS from myself today.

Two episodes into Season 1 of Nip/Tuck and I am regretting having given it as a gift to my mom without having screened it first.

If Mel Gibson would have had his incident, say, a month ago, he wouldn't be getting nearly the press coverage he is now. Why is it such a sloooooowwwww news week? Everyone is in the Hamptons I guess; under the watchful eyes of their handlers. Snooze.

I briefly met this girl at LagoonABeach on Sunday when she asked if she could borrow my tube. Because she was from Holland, I said yes. When a kid from Clearfield asked to borrow my tube, I screamed for security. Anyway, I wish I would have traveled the world like she is doing. Who needs a law degree?

Keith is getting kicked off Project Runway tonight for stealing designs for his portfolio. I read spoilers.

Today's Song: London Calling, The Clash

Ok, Here We Go Again

Dynamite video.

[Thanks HC]

We Really Need the Moisture.

Florida style downpour in SLC today. As they say in weather, "One day you are dry, the next day you are wet." I love the genius that is Heidi Klum.

For Greg.

I am starting season 1 of Nip/Tuck tonight.

I hope no one is watching Ocean Avenue on ABC. I do hope people watch Six Degrees though because I think it looks promising.

One show that you aren't watching but should: Peep Show on BBC America. My Uncle Jim plays Mark.

Today's Song(s): Rain in the Summertime, The Alarm; Summer Rain, Belinda Carlisle.