This and That

I'm convinced the cons of the iPhone outweigh the pros, and all the hype is off-putting. That being said, I want to get up close and personal with one today. (That's as close as I get to a dirty dListed phrase.)

My new bicycle is amazing. However, I am paranoid about it being stolen. I can't ride it to the store - where would I leave it? It has parts people could - and possibly would - steal. Last night I got to thinking about how great it would be if Gateway offered valet parking for bicycles. The Arts Festival did - and if you valet parked your bike, you got $2 off your admission ticket. Loved that - though I actually took my circa 2000 Razr scooter (yes, with light up wheels) to the festival.

My new secretary is also amazing. She wears fake eyelashes - a full on strip - everyday.

Valuable lesson learned: just because Southwest shows a seat available for purchase on a particular flight does not mean that you can claim that seat is available for Rapid Rewards. That runs counter to what I always believed and I suspect I am not alone. So take note.

If I were to start a new career today, it would involve tattoo removal. I am convinced that is going to be a booming industry. Or I would invent temporary tattoos that last for, say, a maximum of two years.

I am tempted to look into tickets for the Spice Girl reunion tour. Specifically, the LV show. I think it would be quite interesting.

Finally, I really, really wish I were catching the Jitney later this afternoon.

Today's Song: Everybody Knows, Ryan Adams

Anti-Theft System

If you've spent more than five minutes with me, you know I love my iPod(s). (Don't get me started - wait, get me started.) They're pretty amazing, huh? So knowing how much I love my biggest iPod, B-Lo was concerned about me leaving it in her car when we parked at the Arts Festival on Sunday night. I thought for a second and realized she had a point. But I didn't want to carry it around with me. So I stashed it in a super-secret place in her car, and then I invented an Anti-Theft System. I looked in her glove box and found an audio cassette tape. You know what those are right? Little rectangle plastic things with two holes on either side and it has a lot of rolled up brown tape inside. One of those. In fact, it was actually a tape I made circa 1993 for running and had recently rediscovered. I took the tape and placed it prominently on the dash. Seriously, who is going to break into a car with visible tapes? I don't even think people break into cars that have the players for the little, shiny mini-records.

Today's Song: Ruby, Kaiser Chiefs ("Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby!")

Don't Get Me Started

don't even get me started. Well, get me started.

On Thursday night, I happened to see Molly Shannon guest host SNL - it originally aired back in May. OMG almost every skit was laugh out loud funny. And Stella, Barlow, and I were reenacting scenes all weekend long.

I also went to the Arts Festival on Thursday night. Bud Light was really cheap - however Budweiser was not.



Go figure.

Then I stared at this sign for about two minutes in disbelief.



1986 was twenty one years ago! I don't know where you were on June 21, 1986, but I think I was at a party in Mindy and Mary Alice Coolidge's basement.

This is for Jedd and Stella:



In other news, I'm considering suing Bath & Body Works. I went in the Trolley Square store with Ava - she's six years old. She asked me to buy her something. I agreed. She picked out a book. I was thrilled she didn't pick out some smelly lotion, lipstick, or anything glittery. I couldn't get in trouble for buying her a simple book. So I paid for it without even really looking at it. My mistake. This is the book. HUGE mistake. Everyone was horrified that I purchased that for a six year old. And I was mortified. I learned more about girls in the few seconds that I flipped through that book than I ever wanted to know. That book should be wrapped in brown paper, clearly labeled with an enormous warning sign, and should be kept behind the counter. I'm still shell shocked over the situation.

I have a major crush on Molly Shannon right now. Seriously. Someone have her call me.

Who didn't see this coming? Seriously.

Today's Song: Bartender, T-Pain ("She made us drinks to drink, we drank 'em, got drunk")

Multimedia message

Do you know where you were? I think I was at Jana Palmer's Party talking to Mary Alice Coolidge.

Multimedia message

Another good raspb to drink light.

Poodle 1921

who are you? Because today you are my hero. Thank you for e-mailing me this YouTube masterpiece. I think I have most of those fashions. Now if only I had the house, the Ivy League degree, et al. (Susie and Kelly, you have to see it.)

I can report that the new ride at Lagoon - Wicked - is nowhere near as good as The Samurai. And I really do believe that Lagoon put the Samurai out of service this season so that it would not compete with and steal attention from Wicked.

In BIGGER news, b-lo is actually corresponding with Michael K of DListed. She invited him to Sundance next year.

Today's Song: Let There Be Love, Simple Minds

Come On Baby

let's do the twist.

My family went to Wendover over the weekend to celebrate Fathers Day. Now, if you haven't been to Wendover in, say, the last five years, put away whatever preconceived notions you have of the place. Because they have a Starbucks now. And the casinos have elevated from dive motels to Las Vegas style resorts. Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement, but they are really trying. The pool areas are much, much nicer than they ever were. And get this: Wendover isn't just for Utahns anymore. There are companies that charter flights to fly gamers in from Canada and all over the U.S.

I had a room at Montego Bay. It was a double king suite with a steam room in the bathroom. My dad a suite at the Peppermill with an ensuite hot tub/jacuzzi and bar with bar stools. My sister and brother-in-law also had a suite at the Peppermill. However their suite was in the new and very recently opened wing of the Peppermill. It was fah-han-cy. And the only way to describe it is to talk Temples. You know when Mormon temples are brand new and not yet dedicated so they are open to the public and photographs are taken? Well that's how I know what temples look like inside. And my sister's room looked like that. Plush cream (almost white) carpet; white bedspreads; paintings with a seemingly religous theme; an ensuite jacuzzi (a baptismal font?) and steam room. But what really put it over the top for me was this little foot stool that was elaborately covered in an elegant silk material. With three great rooms between us, we were all having a great time.

The best part of the trip came on Sunday afternoon while I was at the pool. I met some ladies from Chicago who had flown in on a charter flight. And at one point, this big, older man with a Milwaukee accent came up to me and got right in my face. "What do you do for a living?" he asked. A little unnerved, I replied "Why are you asking?" "Because my friends and I have been watching you, and we think that you are the drummer in Chubby Checker's band." Huh?! He continued, "We watched you at the pool yesterday and we were certain that we saw you play with Chubby Checker the other night." "No," I assured him, "I don't play with Chubby Checker. I don't play drums at all." He still wasn't convinced. I don't know how he got that idea.



Today's Song: Eyes, Rogue Wave

That Was Yesterday

First things first: disclaimer. I don't smoke. This photograph was staged. Also, I am not prematurely middle-aged. Nevertheless, I have three Tommy Bahama shirts. Don't judge.

This picture was taken in August of last summer. It was also the last time I wore that shirt. I am currently packing to go to Wendover for an overnight trip. I grabbed that shirt, aka Geisha Garden, to go with me. As I was packing it, I found a piece of paper in the pocket. A torn little scrap of paper. My first thought was, "I must have gotten a lady's number." I read the paper - my handwriting - and it said, "BUT THAT WAS YESTERDAY". I realized it was a song lyric I must have heard that night and wanted to download. So I tried to think of the song and the first one that came to mind was Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday". That wasn't right. So I tried singing the lyric, and the tune came to me. Turns out its Foreigner "That Was Yesterday". I have no idea why that song had to be downloaded, but it was important enough to write down so I downloaded it this morning.

And that is today's song.

Clothes talk . . . again.

Last night I met Ali for dinner at the Cottonwood Market Street. Because I rarely go to that part of town, I used the occasion as an excuse to stop by what was once known as "The Cottonwood Mall." It now resembles ZCMI Center circa December 2006. Macys is pretty much the only shop open. I'm sure I've previously told the internet that I used to enjoy walking through the Polo section of the downtown Macy's during lunch to look for bargains. Since Macy's closed in whatever month it was and Nordstrom before that, I've not been able to have a quick shop or browse at lunch. (Serioulsy, WTF - I work downtown in the heart of the city and I got nothin'! And do not talk to me about Mr. Mac opening in their new location.) So, because I haven't been able to bargain hunt for awhile now, I went to the Cottonwood Macy's to do so before dinner.

Before my trip though, I went on-line to see what I might like to find. I checked out shorts. (All very nice, no?) And swimsuits. (A few good choices.) Naturally, Macy's - especially Cottonwood Macy's - would only have a small fraction of this selection, but hopefully marked down. So I checked their website.

Well, this post just took a nose dive (admittedly, it probably never got off the ground, sorry). I was going to post pictures from the Macy's site of what I hoped to find, but the items are no longer posted. So I'll just say I hoped to find a pair of white shorty short tennis shorts and a red swimsuit with a white pony. They had the shorts and the suit. I bought the shorts, but not the swimsuit because it was thin, frayed (by design), and didn't have a liner. I like a liner.

In related news, I've decided I want the Ray Ban ORIGINAL (i.e. 2140) Wayfarers. Because I already have the unoriginal model, I need to unload those so as not to unnecessarily duplicate. If your interested in a pair of gently used Wayfarers, let me know.

I am four episodes into Heroes. Thank you networks for posting episodes for free on-line.

9 times out of 10 when I am driving on the road and another motorist does something completely infuriating (e.g. driving too slow, not turning properly, lame lane change), it is a woman. 6 times out of 10 she is on the phone. I'm not being misogynistic. It's just what I've observed.

Today's Song: Discotechque, U2 (would it be wrong for this to be my favourite u2 song? "boom - discotechque; boom - discotechque")

Croak. Croak.

Somehow I lost my voice over the weekend. It isn't completely gone, but there are definitely some key components missing. I've never had this happen before. I don't really mind it - my secretary said I sound "sexy"* - but I have a pretty big hearing this afternoon and I would prefer to be able to scream and holler without limitation.

Am I the only one that didn't know Dermot Mulroney and Catherine Keener are married (though they announced today they are divorcing)? I had no idea.

I really enjoyed the Cyndi Lauper/Erasure/Debbie Harry (aka "Soccer Mom") concert on Saturday night. I could fill a post with crazy tales, but I think I will leave that to the others that attended the concert. Share some stories in the comments section. I will say this: On the way out of the concert, Stella was going nuts trying to remember the "name of that famous rock band from Australia." Which in turn made me go nuts trying to figure out the band she was thinking of. "Men At Work?" "NO!" "Midnight Oil?" "NO!" Finally, we stopped this group of people - two guys and two girls and asked them. "INXS?" one of the girls said. "YES!" Stella screamed. So then I asked their group if our group could get a picture with their group (like we were at some kind of high school dance). They obliged. The next morning - I looked at the picture, and I swear to Tone Loc that one of the girls was a man! In a little tank, long blond extensions, french tipped nails, and a tiarra. I wish I could post the picture. Maybe I can. I'll think about it. I want to know if everyone else sees what I see. None of us suspected it was a man that night.

And later that night, I had a conversation with a dude about my same age and he was telling me how earlier in the evening he had "macked with that chick, Shiloh." So, the word "macked" is still being used. Which isn't surprising because just last week someone was talking about "scamming" with a girl. Tell me, how long since you've heard that word in that context? 15 years, maybe?

I watched the pilot episode of Heroes on NBC.com the other day. I love it when I completely ignore a break out hit until after the first season, and then I get to catch up. That happened with pretty much every HBO show (Sopranos, SATC, Six Feet Under, Curb Your Enthusiasm), as well as The OC, Lost, and even The Office to some extent.

It couldn't have been a man. It had to have been a woman. But that picture . . .

Today's Song: Hill Street Blues Theme, Mike Post (instrumental because I can't sing)

* She also told me my hair looks perfect today ("gives you schoolboy charm"), and that she loves my suit and Burberry tie. Sadly, her last day here is Friday. She took another job.

Seriously

Why can't all marketing be more fun? To wit:



Today's Song: True Colors, Cyndi Lauper

2 Rainy Days in June? Consecutive?!

I just got a text message from VT. She's in Portugal and she sent me this picture that she took with her phone. It looks like painting:



Message reads: "I had to come to Portugal to see a bloody peacock."

You all know the story, for my birthday a few years ago Ali gave me a planter box for my porch planted with a variety of flowers. It was a very thoughtful present. And every year since I've tried to recreate the mix that she initially planted. Last year I was really pleased with my work:

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I got all those flowers from Home Depot and spent under $50.

This year I really didn't want to go to Home Depot. I thought about going to Smiths Marketplace, but I figured their selection and quality would be sub-par. So I went to Western Garden Center. I spent more than I expected too, bought way more than I needed, and was not happy. But I was really unhappy when I started planting and realized that I needed two additional pots to accommodate all the flora. So I went to Smiths Marketplace. And by damn, they had about the same selection as Western Garden, same quality (the plants all came from the same nurseries), and lower prices. Lesson learned. Unfortunately, I'm not as happy with my work this year as I was last year. See:



The upside is that while the planter box isn't as good, I think the pots are much better this year than they were last year. I should have taken a picture of them, I guess. Plus, it is possible that these plants could bloom into greatness beyond those of last year. That would be nice.

In other news, one of my favourite British brands has come to Utah. Boots. Available at Target. The selection isn't as extensive, and they don't have the lotions and potions I most fancy, but as I told my sister, "a little London is better than no London."



Also, I looked into the rumour of Kiehl's being available at Target. It appears some Target stores (mainly on the East coast) do carry a limited selection of Kiehl's products.

Today's Song: Clark Gable, The Postal Service

A tCoS Exclusive Q and A

between me and me. I ask the questions, and I give the answers.

Q: What do you think of the IKEA in Draper?
A: Too far! Too crowded. Not the kind of store you go for a browse. The kind of store you go to when you want to replace everything in your kitchen. Like the cafeteria.

Q: Did you enjoy the Sheena Easton concert?
A: Partially. I appreciated the lack of security and being able to walk right in without a ticket. I liked all the free beer. I liked that the concert ended at 10pm, but the concession stands were open til 11pm so people didn't get herded out immediately following For Your Eyes Only. However, I am not entirely convinced that it was Sheena Easton that performed. I think it was one of those Las Vegas style imposters. And not a very good one.

Q: Did you regret driving to court today as opposed to walking (because you didn't want to get sweaty in your suit)?
A: No. The added bonus was I didn't have to pay for parking.

Q: How is Lagoon A Beach this year?
A: Excellent. They played Top 40 music from the past 4 years as opposed to the music they played last year which was more Top 40 music from late 70's to mid-80's. Most importantly, they have alot more chairs available.

Q: How is Rock U 2 the Top this year?
A: Not as good as last year.

Q: How is Music USA's Salute to Broadway?
A: I don't like musicals.

Q: Why don't you like musicals?
A: I just don't.

Q: What are you having for lunch today?
A: Probably soup from a can.

Q: What is the last article of clothing you bought?
A: A belt. I bought it at J Crew at Fashion Place for $29.50. The next day I saw the same belt at Gateway J.Crew but marked down to $15. So I bought that one. I now have to return the first one.

Q: Have you been on television recently?
A: Yes! I was on the Primary Children's Telethon on Saturday night - KSL Channel 5.

Q: What?!
A: Yes. B-lo presented one of those HUGE cardboard checks (on behalf of her employer) to Carole Mikita. I was one of B-lo's props. And I used Beck as one of mine. I told Carole that Beck had been a patient at Primary Children's when he was younger (for respiratory therapy). A complete lie.

Q: Aren't you embarrassed about that?
A: Not at all. You should have seen my performance on the telethon last year!

Q: Are you going to get your haircut anytime soon?
A: I think I may give myself a haircut tonight.

Q: You cut your own hair?
A: Yes, quite often. It isn't that difficult. I use clippers with a complete guard set.

Q: Gripping.
A: Isn't it?

Q: How do you like the new Hermes Terre that you ordered last week? Do you like the company you ordered it from?
A: Am still waiting for it to be delivered - any minute now. I'm hoping for the best.

Q: Thanks for playing along. This was fun.
A: No problem, I thought so too.

Q: Shit! One more question - what's today's song?
A: Makes Me Wonder, Maroon 5 - I can't get enough of it.

A SoftSational Post

Last night Ali took me to dinner at Settebello (delicious), gave me some presents (all very thoughtful), and then afterward we went back to my place so she could load her Nano (8gb) with songs from my iTunes library. Now, I generally think I have a pretty extensive music collection. But every once in awhile, I test it. Like today, for example.

This weekend Vh1 is airing one of its many countdown specials. This one is titled "The 40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs". They've compiled the 40 top soft rock songs, in their opinion. (And the episode will feature a bunch of weenies that think they are sooo funny, and sooo witty, and sooo borderline famous making snarky comments about each one.) Now being a true child of the 80's, I love soft rock. More than punk rock, more than alternative rock, more than new wave. So I took a look at their list to see their selections. They are:

1. Christopher Cross, Sailing

2. Styx, Babe

3. Rupert Holmes, Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

4. Barry Manilow, Mandy

5. Chicago, If You Leave Me Now

6. Air Supply, Making Love out of Nothing At All

7. Kansas, Dust in the Wind

8. The Doobie Brothers, What a Fool Believes

9. Hall and Oates, One On One

10. Chuck Mangione, Feels So Good

11. Olivia Newton-John, I Honestly Love You

12. Starland Vocal Band, Afternoon Delight

13. Carpenters, Superstar

14. Seals & Crofts, Summer Breeze

15. Journey, Open Arms

16. Bread, Baby I’m - A Want You

17. Juice Newton, Angel of the Morning

18. Toto, Rosanna

19. Michael Bolton, How Am I Supposed to Live Without You

20. Captain & Tennille, Do That To Me One More Time

21. Orleans, Still the One

22. Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson, Tonight, I Celebrate My Love

23. REO Speedwagon, I Can’t Fight This Feeling

24. Phil Collins, One More Night

25. Anne Murray, You Needed Me

26. Harry Chapin, Cat’s in the Cradle

27. Lionel Richie, Hello

28. America, Horse with No Name

29. Debby Boone, You Light Up My Life

30. Andrew Gold, Lonely Boy

31. Richard Marx, Hold on to the Nights

32. Kenny Loggins, This is It

33. Cat Stevens, Peace Train

34. Dan Hill, Sometimes When We Touch

35. Extreme, More Than Words

36. 10cc, I’m Not in Love

37. Leo Sayer, When I Need You

38. Peter Frampton, Baby, I Love Your Way

39. David Soul, Don’t Give Up On Us

40. Bertie Higgins, Key Largo

Looking at the list, I assumed I had at least 85% of them on my iPod. So I went through my library and attempted to form a playlist with all the songs. I only had 24 of the 40. I am missing: 2, 3*, 4, 9**, 10, 16, 19***, 21, 25****, 29*****, 31, 33, 34, 35, 37, 38, 39.

Some of these selections are only partially missing from my iPod because I actually have the cd at home, but haven't yet loaded it, e.g. Bread, Orleans, but as for others it is a complete crime not to have them at my disposal. My ears, my soul need them. They are essential pieces of the soundtrack of my life. (See below.) So I am going to take a $15 iTunes gift card and fill these holes in my collection ASAP.

*: In high school, this was my theme song. No joke.
**: I disagree with this selection and prefer Sara Smile or She's Gone (and I am not copying Whitney Matheson in saying that).
***: Don't even want it! I prefer the Laura Branigan version (and if I have to have a Michael Bolton song, I pick Time, Love and Tenderness)
****: In, like, fourth grade, we seranaded our retiring elementary school principal with this song in a program
*****: This was my theme song when I was four.

Today's Song: See above. Today its a frigging playlist!