In Today's Mail:

Paul Harvey "allegedly" says:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody
for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin,
but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher
taught his Theory of Evolution

Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered
because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So
what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the
entire Book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in
and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the
fans going home from the game.

But it's a Christian prayer, some will argue.

Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on
Christian principles. According to our very own phone book,
Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So
what would you expect -- somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a
Jewish prayer.

If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a
Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear
someone pray to Buddha.

And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit.

When in Rome...

But what about the atheists? Is another argument.

What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not
going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds.
If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs.
Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!

Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell
thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer
at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while
our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents
taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to
sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of
people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying

God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue
me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we tell
that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast
majority doesn't care what they want. It is time that the majority
rules! It's time we tell them, 'You don't have to pray; you don't
have to say the pledge of allegiance; you don't have to believe in
God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we
will honor your right; but by golly, you are no longer going to
take our rights away. We are fighting back, and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... especially those who denounce
Him, God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the
greatest nation of all. God bless our service men who are
fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.

Let's make 2008 the year the silent majority is heard and we put
God back as the foundation of our families and institutions ... and
our military forces come home from all the wars.

Keep looking up.

Look!

Look who's coming to SLC this weekend:

Cut Copy



Black Kids



Pretty amazing, huh?

Today's Song: I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance, Kate Nash (cover)

For those that missed it,

here is a shot of the fashion show at Henries Dry Cleaners on Friday
night.

Sorry

I have to post again to prevent that huge picture of Ross from terrorizing you.

Everyday. EVERYDAY my work e-mail is flooded with spam. I've raised concerns about this with the "powers that be," however they tell me that everyone in the office has the same problem and it is just something to be expected when your e-mail address is published. I'm not sure I agree, but who am I to rock the boat.

So everyday I am inundated with spam for drugs, discount luxury goods, and legal periodicals. It is incredibly annoying, but I would be lying if I said that I don't occasionally find the subject lines funny. Here are some winners:

"A huge Wang is a Fashion Statement" - I need baggier jeans, maybe?

"Bend Her Over Like Beckham" - Posh bends?

"Certify Your Manhood Here Now" - An online ruler? I want to see the certificate.

"For the most wonderful candy addict" - Maybe this wasn't spam, actually.

"Jennifer said you were hot" - Jennifer was right!

Now, those are the tame ones. Which means that every morning, my coworkers and I are treated to some titillating e-mail when we turn on our computers. No wonder our coffee pot is rarely used.

Am I the Only One

that thinks this guy:



is a joke of a news anchor? He comes off very much like this guy:



Given that I'm a Fred Willard fan, you'd think I'd enjoy the similarity. But I don't. I really dislike ABC News/4.

Today's Song: Stars Above Us, Saint Entienne

Happy Birthday

to Beck. 3 years old.

Today's Song: Kids, Kylie Minogue and Robbie Williams

Here, you see

I'm sharing:

This is pretty funny. "Stuff White People Like".

(And pretty much just posting to post something.)

Today's Song: Jesus and Gravity, Dolly Parton (it just came to mind, don't know why)

Monday Morning

you sure look fine.

Is it Earth Day? I guess I will recycle something.

Well, I ran the Salt Lake City half marathon on Saturday. Although it wasn't the full marathon, it wasn't the 5k either. Having never run a half marathon before, I wasn't sure what to expect. I learned that it takes quite a bit longer than a 10k. I was glad Stella talked me into participating this year. Because I will hazard a guess that it was more enjoyable on Saturday morning to be running the streets of Salt Lake City rather than driving on them. Traffic must have been awful. I had two goals for this race: (1) finish, i.e. not call a cab to come and pick me up at Starbucks in Sugarhouse; and (2) to finish in less than two hours. I met both goals. I ran with my iPod Shuffle and for purposes of this blog, I decided that I would listent to the Shuffle in "shuffle mode" and under no circumstances would I skip a song. I then kept a record of all the songs I listened to during my run. Here they are - in order from the start of the race to the finish:

4th of July, Aimee Mann
Lil Love, Bone Thugz N Harmony feat Mariah Carey
London Skies, Jamie Cullum
All the Arms Around You, Halloween, Alaska
Pure Shores, All Saints
Ruby, Kaiser Chiefs
Few and Far Between, 10,000 Maniacs
That's the Way it Goes, Jodee Messina
Cigarettes Will Kill You, Ben Lee
Silent All These Years, Tori Amos
Love Will Find A Way, Pablo Cruise
Something Happened On the Way to Heaven, Phil Collins
Worn Me Down, Rachel Yamagata
Animal, Def Leppard
Hands Down, Dashboard Confessional feat. Michael Stipe
Lost in the Supermarket, The Clash
Living On A Prayer, Bon Jovi
Bouncing Off Clouds, Tori Amos
Makes Me Wonder, Maroon 5
Elvis Ain't Dead, Scouting for Girls
SexyBack, Justin Timberlake feat Timbaland
If You Don't, Don't, Jimmy Eat World
Crazy In Love (Beyonce cover), Novi Split
Not Nineteen Forever, The Courteneers
Friends, Bette Midler
Sweetest Girl, Wyclef feat. Akon
Into the Groove, Madonna
Let's Go, Wang Chung
Waiting In Vain, Annie Lennox

I was pretty happy with my Shuffle's selections. And although I wasn't too happy with my actual running time of 1:58, I'm motivated to run another half marathon and hopefully come in under 1:50. That will require some significant, dedicated training.

For the record, my legs are still hurting today.

Today's Song: ABC, Jackson 5 (from my awesome new to me, fully loaded iPod Nano)

In which I hit a Cat

with my car . . .

Last night, driving along the "one way" section of 2nd Avenue, at roughly 10pm, a black and white cat darted in front of my car. I braked as quickly as I could, but I couldn't avoid hitting the cat. I just shuddered reflecting back on the horrible sound. I circled back around expecting to find a lifeless cat in the middle of the road. Someone's pet. An LOL cat maybe. He can has cheezeburger. Assuming it was dead based on the horrible "thud" I'd heard, I contemplated running home to get a box to put the poor kitty in and then decide what to do. (In fact, that happened when my and my sister's puppy "Newton" was hit by a car and killed twenty years ago. The driver that hit our dog, stopped, put the dog in a box, and our neighbor told him where to put the box. Awful.) Driving back, I almost threw up. I did tear up.

When I circled back around, there was no cat in the middle of the road. Instead, it had crawled to the side of the road and was crying. I pulled my car horizontally along side it, turned on my hazard lights, and left my headlights on. The cat wasn't wearing a collar and I didn't know if it was tame, wild, or merely stray. An older man came out of a nearby apartment building and said that he'd a collision on the street and a cat crying. He looked at the cat and said, "I think that's my neighbors cat."

He walked back to the apartment building and returned with a middle-aged lady who was very, very dramatic. You've seen her or someone like her before. On Cops. Or the news. She's the eyewitness that all the camera crews go to because she's crying, and loud, and saying, "I knew this was going to happen. It was just a matter of time. I warned them over and over. Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!" She took a look at the cat and recognized it as belonging to one of her tenants. And then she did the tv news routine I just described. She went into her building to get the owner.

She returned with a young girl of 20, maybe 21. This girl was basically dressed for an interview at Urban Outfitters. And just as helpful as an Urban Outfitters employee. The cat wasn't hers. It is her roommate's. She texted her roommate immediately. When she finally got her roommate on the phone, she had to convince her roommate - who was currently city blocks and blocks and blocks away (at a party? watching videos? at a Tower film?) without a car - that she needed to get a ride home right away and that walking home wouldn't be quick enough. The lack of urgency on their part rendered me mute. Except I did offer to go and pick the roommate up, but she'd already secured a ride.

The older man who gratefully remained at the scene suggested that "this may just be a situation warranting a 911 call." I disagreed. Instead, I Googled "emergency vet salt lake city" from my phone. I got a 24 hour vet facility in Draper on the phone and asked if they could direct me to a closer facility. He gave me the phone number for a veterinary emergency center closer to us. I got them on the phone, explained the situation, but the operator said they wouldn't be able to help because they were just taking into surgery a bassett hound that had eaten a rock and that was going to require all their staff and occupy them most of the night. He gave me the name of another facility and I asked him for assistance on how to help poor kitty. He suggested wrapping it tightly in a blanket and be aware that it might get mean.

We wrapped the cat in a blanket, but I couldn't imagine the poor crying kitty getting mean. Kitty looked so sad and scared. It wasn't bleeding, but it tried to walk and it basically had to drag its back legs. As though they were both broken. Or a leg and a hip. I don't know. It was awful.

The owner finally arrived. She was also ready to interview at Urban Outfitters. This girl had no sense of urgency. Whatsoever. "Dude, I hit your cat. It might die. A little emotion, please," I wanted to say.

Meanwhile, the landlord lady, like me, had been trying to find a 24 hour vet that
could provide immediate help to the cat. She handed the owner a piece of paper with an address for the only emergency vet facility that could take the cat right away. The facility was on about 6200 South and Highland. Urban Outfitter, non-urgent, cat owner looked at the address and said, "That's way the hell out there."

At this point, I'm ready to tell these "dressed in Emo but not Emo inside" girls to get in my fucking car with the suffering cat so we could get it to the damn vet. But right then, a car was trying to exit a driveway and my car was blocking its path. So I got in my car to move it and my battery was dead. You know, because I'd left all the lights on to assist with this emergency situation that the cat's owner was treating as a non-emergency. So my car has to be pushed out of the way and I roll backwards down a hill and park it so that I can go back to the awful scene. Once parked, my car decided that the battery wasn't actually dead and starts right up. I leave it on and walk back to the scene.

I look around and don't see the non-Emo girls anymore, but the older man and landlord lady are still there. "What are you going to do," he asks me, "do you have Triple A?" I assume he means to cover the veterinary costs and I say, "No. Where are the girls, do they need a ride to the vet?" "They've already gone," he says, "What about our car?" "Oh, it started, I'm fine."

Then landlord landy went back into her "Oh Jesus. I knew this would happen. I've told those girls to be careful with that cat." routine. She and the old man were then very nice to me, thanked me for my help, and I thanked them and told them how great they were.

And then I went home. And wished for that cat to both live and find a better home. I also thought of everything I could have or should have done differently to help that poor animal.

Today's Song: - - silence - -

Two Things

I am not proud of - from last night.

First, because I've got a big run this weekend, I decided to rest up and watch television last night. I watched American Idol. Alone. No one forced me to. No one talked me into it. I just did. And I liked it. Well two parts anyway. I thought Mariah Carey was quite charming and incredibly sweet to the Idols. Is there some sort of record she's promoting and wanting everyone in America and the world to purchase. Must be. I also though David Cook's performance was amazing. But then, he did get a string section, back up singers, rock venue lighting, and special effect. (Why didn't the other Idols demand such embellishments?) Anyway, I liked it so much that I voted for him. Only the second time I have ever voted on that show. Like I said, I am not proud.

(Note: for those that watched, I could totally imagine abusive, stalker husbands getting all worked up over that "Always Be My Baby" rendition alone in their truck and then doing something very bad. I think they call that effect, haunting.)

Second, having read too many reviews of the show, I ended up watching an episode of The Real Housewives of NYC. And then another. And then another. And then recording the remainder of them. Have you seen this show? It's pretty amazing. Actually, it really isn't that amazing. You can tell the producers and editors tried to make it really shocking, but I think it is pretty tame. I think I just really enjoyed spending three hours in NYC last night.

Today's Song: Johnny Be Good, Men at Work

Dubai.

The LAST time I Priceline.

Todays Song: Construction Noise

Acceptable in the 80s

1. How old were you in 1980? 5
2. How old were you in 1989? 13
3. Were you a Toys R Us kid? No; KayBee, Grand Central
4. Did you watch Transformers? No; preferred Kids, Incorporated (crush on Martika)
5. Did you see E.T. on the big screen? Yes, front row (theater was packed)
6. Did you own a Lite Bright? Yes
7. Craps.
8. When someone says 'Who you gonna call?' You think? Of the Gimme A Break! episode where Ray Parker, Jr. special guest starred and uttered his famous line
9. What was your favorite toy? Go-Kart
10. Did you have a Pogo Ball? No
11. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block? Briefly. I remember the video for Right Stuff and listening to Hangin' Tough at swim meets. But I owned no cassettes or fan-type merchandise
12. Which New Kid did you have a crush on? Again, I was a Kids, Incorporated kid and I had a crush on Martika.
13. Did you play M.A.S.H? That's the piece of paper folded up with numbers, colors, and names and you do the thing with your fingers and then unfold it and get an answer to a "who do you like" or "what's your lucky number" type question? If so, then yes. But I regretfully never learned how to fold that paper. Okay, maybe that's not MASH. This is. I do remember playing now, and I am supposed to be married to Christie Brinkley, living in an apartment in NYC, with a couple kids. Shit, I need to get working on that.
14. Did you watch The Care Bears? "Kids by the dozens love the Care Bear cousins." I terrorized my sister with that commercial tagline. I did not watch the show. Maybe in passing.
15. Did you have Jelly bracelets? Of course. I still do. Me and "the Ricker."
16. Did you have a charm necklace and/or bracelet? I'm thinking this quiz isn't unisex. No, no charm necklaces or bracelets.
17. Did you own a glo-worm? No.
18. Did you ever own a slap bracelet? Probably won one at Chuck E. Cheese.
19. The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles? Breakfast Club. Hands down. Will go probably go home and watch it tonight.
20. Did you have a crazy hair style? I briefly had a tail. It was maybe half an inch long.
21. What was your first bike? A gold Team Huffy, I believe. With an AM/FM radio on the handlebars.
22. Name one thing you still own from your childhood? A stuffed Snoopy Cewebrity James gave me.
23. Did you have a Cabbage Patch Kid? No.
24. Did you dress like Madonna? Alright, I should have read this through before starting to answer. It's definitely not unisex. Unless maybe you're MichaelK. No, I didn't dress like Madonna. But I loved her Angel single.
26. Did you watch Miami Vice? Of course.
27. Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes? No. I didn't own Roos either. I thought they were dumb. I was, however, the first person in my entire elementary to own Reeboks (excluding my little sister; we tied). I caused a stir.
28. Did you own a Trapper Keeper? Of course.
29. Atari or Nintendo? Odyssey. My favourite games: KC's Krazy Chase and Blackjack (I learned really, really young)
30. Did you play Pac-Man? Yes, do you want me to act out the between screen scenes? Because I can.
31. He-Man or She-Ra? "I am Adam, Prince of Eternia, defender of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. This is Cringer, my fearless friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: "By the power of Greyskull - I have the power!" I did most of that from memory, so yeah, I watched He-Man. (But thanks to my sister, I got some She-Ra viewing in too. Jem also. (She's truly, truly, truly outrageous.)
32.What movie scared you the most? "When A Stranger Calls" I don't know if my parents let me watch this or a babysitter did, but I am not exaggerating when I say that DCFS should have been called on someone. I slept with a light on for months. "Have you checked the children?" If reading that line sent shivers down your spine, e-mail me. We'll seek some therapy together and address painful childhood issues.
33. Did you try to dance like Michael Jackson? Well, I had Weejuns so you do the math.
34. What Is The First Thing That Comes To Mind When You Hear 'flux copassitor?' That "copassitor" is incorrectly spelled? Capacitor. Sorry, question says "hear" not "read." I hear, "Whoa, this is heavy." And then I think of Marty's double color denim Guess! clothes - black and blue! Denim! Together! Gross. (But I do remember being fascinated by the Guess! jeans with leather trim. Tangent. Sorry.)
35. What other colors did Pepsi come in? I do not know. I do clearly remember "New Coke." I remember my mom reading something and quoting the Pepsi Chairman or CEO or something saying, "We've been staring Coca Cola in the eye for over 75 years. They finally blinked." Google it. You'll find it.
36. Roger Rabbit Or Howard The Duck? I liked both films. But do you mean dance moves? Don't know either.
37. Did you ever beg your parents to have your school picture taken with the LASER background? No. I begged for whatever you call the one serious face, one smiling face picture. My mom was not a fan of that. In hindsight, I credit her good taste.
38. Do you know what the Ninja Rap is? No. I know the Wham! rap. "Hey jerk you work I got better things to do . . ."
39. Favorite slang word(s)? Whose got the coke? Like, as if.
40. Can you name the family members from National Lampoons Vacation movies? Yes. Clark, Ellen, Rusty, and Audrey Griswald.
41. Did you have pump sneakers? No. I did have Converse Cons, Chuck Taylors, Nike Burt Bruins, Vans, Sperry Top Siders, Weejuns, Cole Haan, and even circa-1987 Uggs boots (my parents visited Australia).
42. Did you own HYPER COLOR shirts? I don't know what that means. Like neon? I had one neon shirt. A flourescent pink t-shirt from the Pizza Factory in St. George. Gag me with a spoon. Better answer is that I wore a pink Polo oxford and yellow knit tie in my 5th grade class picture. How's that for 80s?
43. Did you watch Smurfs? Oh, yes, yes I did.
44. What is the most annoying 80s style? I was going to go for something witty here, but answering honestly, I'd say acid wash. I won an essay contest in 7th grade and the prize was a gift certificate to Copper Rivet. I bought my first pair of acid wash Levis 501s with it. I regret that.

Today's Song: 80s Celebration, The Reduction Agents

MeMe x 4

I borrowed this from Sara Z. and slcup. Naturally, I invite all of you to play along at your place or in the comments.

Four jobs I’ve had: Real estate agent, Lagoon cashier, concessions for the Salt Lake Acting Company, restaurant host.

Four TV shows I’m watching: I just watched 45 episodes of In Treatment in less than three weeks (I don't know how I found the time); Lost, John Adams, and today I am downloading from iTunes season 1 of Mad Men .

Four places I’ve been: Isle of Wight, UK; Mykonos, Greece; Aruba; Monte Carlo.

Four musical artists I’m listening to: Rick Springfield, Hall & Oates; Matt Nathanson; The Weepies

Today's Song: Step On, Happy Mondays

Dine O Round

Today's post will be interactive.

So, who remembers high school? Anyone? I do. Among my many high school memories are those of dances. Homecoming, Christmas, Prom, Girls Choice, etc. Do you want me to tell you about what I wore to those dances? No? Alright, how about where we went to dinner. Sit back and let me wow you with my culinary adventures during high school.

1. Sizzler (my first dance, Christmas, girl's choice - she chose Sizzler, of course.)
2. Market Street Broiler
3. Log Haven
4. Shenanigans
5. The Rude Cafe
6. A girl's Sunday school teacher's house for an authentic Italian meal (Stella)
7. The Mandarin
8. Della Fontana

I'm drawing a blank on other spots. Here's the interactive part, where did you all go for dinner before your high school dances?

Today's Song: If You Leave, OMD

Dunno.

Don't Talk

to strangers.

Bingo.

Am I the Only One

That has romanticized notions of cross country bus travel?

Fun Bus to Wendover is dispelling them.

Todays Song: Love Somebody, Rick Springfield (hope concert is worth it)

So what is

the significance of this balloon? It was featured in a key John Adams
scene. But I have no idea why it is such a big deal. I know, I know
Google is my friend, but so are you. Help me out.

Todays Song: Affair of the Heart, Rick Springfield