Alot of "This" in this Post

I didn't ask for too many specific gifts for my birthday. Generally, if I see something I really want, I buy it and don't simply put it on a wish list. But there are a couple things that although I really, really wanted them, I just didn't buy them for myself. For example, a fancy paring/utility knife for the kitchen (the one I've used for years is probably a $3 grocery store Betty Crocker mess), Mary Hartman! Mary Hartman!, a Lagoon season pass (if someone buys it for you, doesn't that make it just a little bit more acceptable?), a super fancy beach towel to rival the one I saw at Hermes last year that retailed for about $425 (incidentally, that isn't the one I saw and isn't as desirable either, but you get the idea). But most importantly: this.

What a lukcy boy! I got everything I wanted, save the last item. "The people in your life don't need you to have that," I was told. Well, I disagree and I ordered it for myself last night.

And damnit. When I went looking for that Hermes beach towel, I came across this - and now I wonder if it's any good. This person seems to think so. (VT if you are reading this, please check it out on your lunch hour and report back.)

B-Lo gave me a paring knife with a penny. Evidently, she was aware of this. I pointed out that Stella has given her several knives - never with a penny - and yet they are still friends.

Stella got me the beach towel. It looks like this:



I know what you are thinking, "he is just asking to get ripped off at the pool." And for the record, I thought the same thing. I'm willing to risk it.

There were also some special surprises featuring the Paul Smith logo stripe!

So I guess this wasn't actually shakins it was more like a post about CHUNKS.

Today's Song: This Is The Time, Billy Joel

Cheers!

I had a great weekend and truly wished it could have lasted even further into this week. Partly because I enjoyed the friends, family, gifts, action and weather that all combined to make a perfect birthday and Memorial Day weekend, and partly because B-Lo's actual birthday (today, May 30) could have been included also. Thank you to everyone that participated in the weekend's events, and Happy Birthday to B-Lo.

The weekend was packed with pools, friends, dinners, laughs, Eva Longoria, Tony Parker, a suicide, Traxx, drinks, kids, music, sun, gifts, and very little sleep. And I cannot even begin to tell it in a narrative style.

I looked at quite a few pictures this morning and thought about doing a long picture post, but there were too many pictures to post and an alarming number of NSFW pictures that internet doesn't need to see.

But there is one picture that is my absolute favourite:



Today's Song: Annie's Song, John Denver

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Cheers to Aunt.

Finally!

Memorial Day Weekend is probably the best three day weekend of the year. It kicks off three months of pools, sun, golf, patios, etc. It's the opening prayer for a really, super good, enthralling, invigorating church service. (If there is such a thing: I wouldn't know.) Labor Day, then, could possibly be the worst because it is like the closing prayer to that super terrific time. I hate that I count the days to summer, mournfully count the days to the end of summer (only 16 more weekends?!), and then count the days to summer again.

UTA bus drivers seriously think they own the roads. Especially downtown. They pull out, pull in, stop, speed up with complete abandon. They have those signs on them that read "This bus took 70 cars off the road." They should also say, "And those cars are now in body shops for repairs." I loathe them. And while I'm at it, cab drivers really aren't much better. Particularly when they are trolling for fares - in the middle of the afternoon. They don't watch where they are going and just drift in and out of their lane. Note to cab drivers: we don't need you trolling the city streets at 2pm on Tuesday. Troll the streets at 2am on Saturdays. That's when we need you, and yet at that time - you are nowhere to be found!

A washer caught on fire at the laundromat last night. Someone (not me) overloaded the washer and the motor caught fire. Crazy thoughts go through your head when a washer catches fire. Like, "I hope that was a white load and not a permanent press or colored load." White loads are just easier (and cheaper) to replace.

And evidently TALL is the new PINK. Has anyone else seen the man riding his bicycle around town - and the seat is at least - at least - 7 feet from the ground. It's like a bike with a lift kit. He's the new pink man, I think. I'll try for a picture.

I hope everyone enjoys the upcoming service, and I say these things . . . just kidding.

Today's Song: Six-Pack Summer, Phil Vassar

Existential Ennui

I had to Google that term thanks to an e-mail from Sara Z. and this was the first site returned. I'm still not clear on the meaning of "existential ennui," but I thought the article was pretty funny.

Note to readers: Look at yesterday's post and you will see that the best part about it was the comments. Let's keep that going. It's more fun for me, and hopefully for you, when people pipe up.

Although I read a very detailed Lost plot spoiler before watching last night's finale, I still loved it. It was like I got to see two shows: the show as I imagined it in my head when reading the plot spoiler, and then the actual show with all the imagery, acting, music, etc.

Some days, my biggest decision is whether to leave one top button of the shirt open or be so bold as to go with two. Today I went with two because the shirt is British and the British usually go with two.

In my younger years, I used to wear white v-neck undershirts under white dress shirts to give the appearance of garments. Man, I'm telling the internet way too much. But I remembered that this morning and laughed a little.

While I'm in confessional, I will also say that almost all of the information I get about the Iraq war comes from Rosie O'Donnell's blog. Her question and answer section is the best.

Cheers to all the commenters yesterday: well done.

Today's Song: Sporting Life, The Sea and Cake (so, so good)

Some Shakins

My birthday is this coming Monday. Memorial Day! I think it strange that I am already starting to lose track of how old I am. The only time it really hits me with clarity is when I read OK magazine. Because when I read JLo is X, I think "I am only X - how has she done so much more than me?"

In looking at yesterday's post, I am again proud of what a great photographer I am. You see how reflective that window is? Do you see me reflected in it? That spells good photographer.

Maybe I am really sad about something or borderline depressed because last night I teared up when Jordin Sparks sang This Is My Now. I think she's super and although I initally wanted Blake to win, I really only wanted Melinda to lose (no color to her, no pizazz). So Jordin can win. (Also - I can't believe I'm admitting this - I saw Dr. Christina Yang's finale breakdown whilst deleting recordings from my DVR and I teared up at that too!) WTF is wrong with me?!

I told B-Lo recently that my only passion in life right now is Lost. And because I am not a patient person, I researched spoilers for the finale and now I know pretty much everything that is going to happen tonight. But I'm still passionate about it.

I've never been to Ikea. I'm scared of what it is doing to Utah.

I've long been an Urban Outfitters customer. I'm scared of what it will do to Utah.

And this? I'm just glad it is in American Fork.

Before I hit "publish post" I want to point out that I am less embarrassed about telling internet that I teared up over American Idol and a Grey's Anatomy scene than I am about having an opinion on American Idol and admitting that I watched it of my own volition and without any prompting from B-Lo or Stella.

Today's Song: This Is My Now, Jordin Sparks (and also Love Power, Dionne Warwick and Jeffrey Osbourne - because the first was too, too obvious)

And I Always Thought It Was A Smile

One of my favourite shop windows on South Temple - I walk by it almost everyday.

Accepting the above statement to be true (and really, am I going to argue with it?), let me know ladies if you think a man dressed like this would really be the best accessory for your chosen outfit.

Particularly if your chosen outfit is from the shop just four blocks east of this shop which features even fancier window displays of ladies' dresses, i.e. The Bridal Shop. (Though I should point out that more often than not, their window displays look like the questionable dresses tried on by Andie MacDowell for Hugh Grant's viewing pleasure in Four Weddings and A Funeral. I swear I saw the Little Bo Peep one in the window just the other day.)

Today's Song: I'm Every Woman, Whitney Houston (Whatever. I listened to Movin' 100.7 on the way to work. Initial choice was Wham! Rap, Wham or I Am Never Eating at Cafe Rio Again Because It Made Me Sick, by hjustin.)

Ticket to Heaven?

This was in my room at the Homestead this weekend. I wasn't sure what it was. B-Lo told me that she suspected I was in a "Honeymoon Suite." Ew.











I wonder if I should have turned it into lost and found. I suspect there is a scrapbook page waiting for it.

Also, while I'm on this topic, B-Lo told me that the Anniversary Inns charge a $50 non-refundable deposit for honeymooners! Someone needs to explain that to me. (Actually, she may be wrong.)

Today's Song: Explosions, The Mary Onettes

Words Fail Me

I loved this so much in 1984.

Homestead Resort this weekend. I hate shabby chic and hip and humble.

The pools open next weekend. Let the summer days begin.

Today's Song: Starz in Their Eyes, Just Jack

From the hjustin Archives:

The summer before I started law school I took a job at the same company my mom worked for. I was in the human resources department and I was filling in for a few months for a girl that had recently left. I didn't have much to do the first few days I was there and so I spent alot of time exploring what was on her computer. And whoever was in charge of getting me set up on her computer didn't do a very good job because they left her inter-company e-mail in tact.

On her computer, this girl had stored some modelling shots she'd had taken of herself. Head shots, body shots (in swimsuit), and editorial type shots. I'd never met the girl before, but she was pretty and seemed quite nice - and also a bit dumb (based on my reading of her e-mail - shut up! You'd have done the same.)

One afternoon, after having found these swimsuit pictures and having explored her active e-mail account, the Evil Leprachaun that lives within me came out to play.

I drafted an e-mail that read something like:

"Hey there,

I know we've never actually met in person, but we work for the same company and all so how about a little helpful advice: I recently had some pictures taken and I am wondering if you think they are good enough to get me some magazine or catalog work? Could be my ticket out of here.

Thanks,

/s/ Girl Whose Computer I Took Over"

I then attached some of her photos, and then I went into the huge corporate e-mail directory and randomly selected about 10 guys to send the e-mail to. And then I waited for the responses.

"Hey you! Hell yes! Your hot - send more!!!!" Seemed to be the common response. I think I got one or two: "This probably isn't appropriate for work." Some didn't reply. I think I did it the next day too. Then I told my mom about it at lunch. She was horrified, but couldn't help laughing.

I just realized the most disturbing part of that story: It took place exactly ten years ago.

Today's Song: Wishing On A Star, Rose Royce (Yes, I watched some American Idol last night. Don't judge.)

Some peeves

for a Monday morning.

1. Delta not running weekend fares for months on end.
2. Fake Louis Vuitton.
3. That I have an opinion on fake Louis Vuitton.
4. Wind blowing magazines into pools.
5. Retail workers asking for phone number for marketing purposes.
6. Retail workers that act put out when you refuse to give the number.
7. SLC's club scene (fried chicken, techno beats, and plastic chairs)
8. Cingular voicemail
9. The bells at Cathedral de Madeleine.
10. Overcast skies on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.
11. This.

Today's Song: Monday, Monday, Mommas and the Poppas

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Every once in awhile I am THAT guy.

Office Friends

L to R: Mr. Potato Head (gift from secretary), Career Duck (gift from secretary), Monkey (intended housewarming gift for Georgeory, but I couldn't part with it), Art Man (purchased in London at fancy art shop next to my school), Fisherman (gift from b-lo)

Today's Song: Lost, The Mary Onettes

"Help me!"

So evidently Lost is a television show about people with daddy issues. Can it really be that simple?

I finally finished last week's two hour GA show. So far, I don't like the spin-off. It may be too adult. Too Thirtysomething for my taste.

Morrissey is a peacock. With a large catalog of songs I've never heard and probably don't need to hear again. "Life is a pigsty . . ."

I dontated blood on Monday and my vein is still sore. I will not become a heroin addict because - ouch!

I guess I have nothing today.

Today's Song: Cheap Seats, Alabama

Conversation with a Six Year Old

hjustin: "Have you seen Dancing with the Stars?"

Ava: "Yes, I've seen that show. I saw an ad for it in one of my mom's magazines. I saw a pair of shoes I liked and a pretty skirt, so I asked my mom to record it for me. She did and I watched it. I just love all the sparkly dresses!"

Some Shakins

There should no confusion with respect to the fact that I am enthralled by the Beckhams as much as the average British person and much more than the average American, but I am not thrilled with all the American media coverage of the Beckhams. It's as though a Tesco opened up in the Avenues and it is fully stocked with McCools Salt and Vin crisps, Roundtree Fruit Pastilles, Haribo Tangfastics, Highland Spring water, Coca Cola Light, McVities biscuits, and the like. Somehow, it just wouldn't be special anymore.

At least Jordan and Peter aren't as popular here as there - and never will be.

I am going to see Morrissey in concert tonight. I remember my friends listening to the Smiths in junior high and high school, but I was a little more mainstream and was probably more tuned into, say, Hot 94.9 as opposed to KJQ and Radio From Hell. In the intervening years I've become much more familiar with The Smiths and Morrissey and I count myself as a fan. But from what I've heard and read, the concert experience is unreal. So I don't know what to expect. I wonder if it will even be crowded - especially after how sparse the crowd was for Pet Shop Boys.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: You know the jewelry washing kiosks at the malls - especially in Las Vegas - that are staffed by over-eager dudes who can spot the brand of watch you are wearing in a split second and then they call out, "HEY! Can I wash your __________ watch for FREE!"? Those guys? LET THEM! I am not kidding. I finally gave into them the last time I was in Las Vegas and my watch is still shining bright. I may even look into buying their product next time I am there.

Today's Song: This Charming Man, The Smiths

Cursed at the Pictures

On Friday I saw Hot Fuzz at the Broadway Theater with Stella and B-Lo. During the previews, I whispered some comments to both of them regarding the coming attractions. Something to do with Sundance, I think. We were sitting on the far edge of the theater. A man and his wife, or girlfriend, or maybe anger management therapist were sitting just across the aisle from us in the center section. This guy was incredibly disturbed by whispering in the previews. As he shoveled popcorn into his mouth at an alarming rate, he would shoot nasty glances and passive aggressive sighs our way. This behavior really irked Barlow prompting her to say aloud, "It's a comedy." It's not as though we were there to see the Alzheimer's movie with Julie Christie. No, a spoofy British comedy.

When the evil eyes and huffing and puffing weren't enough to silence the primary whisperer (me), the man got up, hissed "you're very rude!" and proceeded to move to another section of the theater. In response to his statement, B-lo, replied with a gleeful "Yaaayyyy!!" To which the man yelled, "FUCK YOU!" In the middle of a crowded movie theater.

Admittedly, the whispering was probably rude and inconsiderate, but still . . .

Kindness turned out to be the theme of the weekend. I spotted this license plate on Saturday afternoon, and returned the sentiment in kind.




Today's Song: Save Room, John Legend

"If that's flashing, lock me up."

Creed brought out his "A" game last night. I spent more time rewinding The Office last night than watching the two-hour Grey's Anatomy. And that is not a bad thing.

Bond No. 9 - Wallstreet.

It's PW's birthday today. I should have called in sick. One of her friends decorated her cubicle as though it was a junior high locker. I can her the birthday girl right now wondering out loud whether her boss will remember the big day. As though he is going to miss the gazillion white balloons and flags adorning her work space.

I am having phantom pains with respect to the loss of the mall. Today I really need the Nordstrom coffee cart. You don't know what you got, til it's gone.

I love Starbucks. And I love the Starbucks at the Marriott City Center. I do not love the walk between 100 South and 200 South along State Street.

A special thank you to Urban Princess. And cheers to Michael J. Fox with a splash of Nathan Lane.

Today's Song: Love My Way, Psychadelic Furs

All About the Lamanites in Ancient History

Point.

Counterpoint.

I read No Man Knows My History, by Fawn Brodie last year. I suppose I will have to read the other book suggested by Mr. Jennings. Though, truthfully, I prefer not to even think about it.

Today's Song: Down, The Brook Lee Castastrophe

May Day! May Day!

For the record, May is my favourite month. Possibly because it is the gateway to summer and was generally the last month of school. As I recall, "Field Day" took place in May, you could start wearing shorts to school in May, and there was less risk of April showers in May. Every May I hear Barry Manilow's "I Made It Through The Rain" in my head, but I actually hear him singing "you made it through the snow . . ."

Barbacoa, IMHO, is superior to Chipotle, but Chipotle has some very catchy marketing.

DQ Blizzards aren't what they used to be. I wish DQ still offered Nerds as a mix-in.

I don't watch The View, but I like the dialogue and controversy Rosie O'Donnell creates. I think its terrible she's leaving.

I was really disappointed in The Sopranos this week. All of a sudden Tony has a gambling problem. Snap! Just like that. Though I loved it when Tony wanted Carmela to bet her house money on the Jets. And I thought Vito's kid was less Goth and more Ginny Sack.

Today's Song: Round Here (MTV Unplugged version), Counting Crows

(I also think Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 is pretty catchy - I downloaded that today.)